“Domestic violence in Nigeria also named domestic abuse or family violence is violence or other forms of abuse by one person against another in a domestic setting, such as in marriage or cohabitation”.
It can also be referred to as partner violence when committed by a spouse or partner in an intimate relationship against the other spouse or partner.
Survey has shown a nationwide increase in domestic violence in the past years and the trend is ever increasing. Many have called for immediate steps to stop this violence against women who are the much vulnerable and victims of circumstance in Nigeria.
The problem is a serious one that requires knowing the main causes and offering possible solutions to avoid such violence at home. The leading causes of domestic violence and solutions in Nigeria are:
- Indiscipline: Is one of the major causes of domestic violence in our country today. This simply means lack of control in the behavior of a person or a group of people. It is not good for us to react rudely to whatever comes our way. If we do this, we will not be able to accomplish anything at the end of the day. It makes us keep a schedule that does not depict a man on a mission. Of course, such attitude is too bad when for instance we disobey rules and regulations and not committed to doing our assignments orderly, this can be bring about disintegration in our homes.
The solution to this problem of violence is to be disciplined. When you are disciplined, your destiny will be transformed. It makes one to be strong, organized and have an orderly and practical study schedule and when this is done, you will have great things come your come way.
Are you a businessman, doctor, journalist, engineer, lawyer, house wife or farmer, be disciplined as is the only soul of whatever you are doing.
- Crisis: Another major cause of domestic violence in Nigeria is crisis. Crisis is a period of great danger. It also means difficult or problematic situation as we currently have in the country.
Crisis happens unexpectedly and could come in form of illness, financial mishap, matrimonial disharmony, fear, mental or physical stress, emotional trauma, sickness etc resulting from personal crisis, marital, political, national, social, health, leadership crisis, religious and economic crisis.
Crisis often develops into a major setback and many people do not know how to handle crisis hence most homes are faced with domestic violence today. So any society that is not built on foundation of trust, truthfulness, respect for lives and properties, religious harmony, strong institutional structure, respect for rule of law and good governance among others no doubt is inviting crisis, hence the problem of domestic violence.
- Worry Habit: is another major cause of domestic violence in our country today.
Worry is simply an unhealthy and destructive mental habit. This is something we are not born with but acquired. Most individuals are worried over little or insignificant things which is the most disintegrating enemy of human personality and most physicians term worry as most stable and destructive of all human diseases. It is a silent killer which if not checked can lead a man to a very dangerous end. If you are always worried over little thing, note it can yield you nothing but disaster.
To overcome this trend, we should try to live a contented life and build your trust in God who can turn things around rather result to violence. Practice faith, be prayerful, practice something positive, have thoughts of hope, happiness, glory, radiance and not gloomy or negative thoughts that will destroy home.
- Hatred: is another cause of domestic violence in Nigeria.
This is a very strong feeling of dislike for a particular person or thing. It is obvious that when you deeply hate a person, you can do any negative thing to get rid of such person or antagonize or use destructive languages to tarnish other people’s image.
In our country today, hatred has taken over love. Brothers kill themselves for money, relations collude with accomplice to kidnap members of their own family and right now hatred is ruling many people.
Hatred is destructive and we must not allow this to continue because many homes have been destroyed through this means. We must show compassion for people, by making sacrifice for others to live happily. Make it a way of life and avoid being violent.
- Fuming and Fretting Spirit: has been identified as major cause of domestic violence in our country today. By this, we mean to boil up, to blow off, to emit vapour, to be deeply angry. In order words, to fume and fret describe the emotional reaction of many adults against humanity. Imagine the news of a man who killed four children and later hanged himself. Investigation revealed later that the wife who was the mother of those killed children opened up to him a quarrel that ensured that they were not his biological children. How will he table the matter before God?
To help reduce the fuming and fretting attitude which seems to dominate people, we should start by reducing our own pace. We should learn to take things easy. Do not fret. Do not fume. Be peaceful no matter the problem or challenge. Cultivate attitude that will give you peace of mind. Rather than take laws into your hands, be calm and expect the best and aspire to get it by doing things right and pray to break the fuming and fretting spirit.
- Impatience: This is another major cause of domestic violence that must not be ignored in our country today.
Impatience has made many people to take underserved risk that have put them and the entire family in jeopardy or difficult situation. For instance, we want do something today and get the result now. This has caused us a lot of damage. Most of our problems of today are caused by impatience.
Unless we have a change of heart, impatience will always cause us to be high-pressured, hard driving, excessively nervous and make us abnormal and can have disastrous end.
We should create room for a peaceful mind because it is only a peaceful mind that generates power, bring about soothing, healthy practice.
In addition, fill our mind with peaceful experiences, words and ideas that will ultimately launch you into a store house of peace producing experiences to which you may later turn for refreshment and renewal of your spirit of hope.
- Fear: is another cause of domestic violence in Nigeria.
It comes in form of apprehension, surprise, dread, humour, misgiving, panic, terror, trembling, tremor, and timidity. Fear is the bad feeling we have when we are in danger, when something bad might happen or when a particular thing frightens us. It is one of the spirits ruling our society today.
Fear magnifies problems, it is an instrument of destruction, intimidation, limits people and throw them in a pattern of failure. For instance, some married men are in abusive relationship with their wives, relations, a friend with a controlling partner etc.
Fear can make a person withdraw into a dream world or revert to violent and defensive attitudes. Violent crimes, rape, business failure, hired killers, family and sibling rivalry, all these have increased the chances of fear puling upon people.
Also, fear has crippled marriages and made people lost their miracles, good initiatives and lose momentum.
So, as we strive to fight the scourge of fear in us which are responsible for domestic violence in country today, we should try to cultivate the thanksgiving, joy and hope at all times. Again, we should manage our tongue, yield to spirit of victory, reject the spirit of condemnation, start meditating on the good things God has done in our lives.
Have a good thought. Put all your trust in God. Challenge fear today and vow never to bow to adversity and this will go a long way to averting domestic violence in our country today.
- Negative Thoughts: is one of the most dangerous and common cause of domestic violence in Nigeria.
Negative thoughts are opposed to faith, love, goodness and happiness and are very destructive. It can land you into difficult situations, hinder growth and development in your life and bring about an unending grief and sorrow.
Negative thoughts have driven men to commit murder and lived to regret it. It has pushed many to jail and bitter end.
We should start thinking differently to change our circumstances. We should not positively accept unsatisfactory circumstances. Rather we should keep the idea of prosperity, achievement and attainment firmly fixed in our minds. Never entertain failure thoughts or criminal thoughts that will bring us tragedy. Most broken homes or domestic violence started with just negative thoughts that are ruinous. Flush those odd thoughts out of your life.
- Depression: This is another cause of domestic violence in Nigeria today.
It is common knowledge that we live in an age where many are passing through tough times. Many people are giving up simply because they do not know which direction to turn for help.
Depression is a medical condition in which a person feels very sad and anxious and often has physical symptoms such as being unable to sleep. It can come in the form of loosing one’s job, loved ones, valuables etc. Frustrations and intimidation can cause it too. So rather than result to violence, it is advisable to seek medical help.
In addition, a depressed person needs not be intimidated, threatened, bullied, and shout at. They need our attention, help and communication.
- Family traits could be another cause of domestic violence in Nigeria. The person could be aggressive if he or she was the victim or witness of violence in childhood. The child just can learn such model of behavior while growing up in the family with violent parents or other relatives. This is a way of transferring violent behavior through the generation.
- Alcohol or narcotic abuse: This is another serious cause of the problem. Alcohol and narcotic have remained a common factor why people are more often involved in violent behavior. The people who take alcohol or narcotic don’t control their violent impulses. Unfortunately, the alcohol or narcotic abuse is very widespread in Nigeria, so this reason of domestic violence is quite common.
The campaign against alcohol or narcotic abuse should be more aggressive to educate victims of the danger of being addictive.
- Jealousy: Excessive suspicion, distrust, and jealousy often lead to cases of violence. This reason often refers to young families. Such a feeling as jealousy leads to irritability and as a consequence to aggression.
Cultivate good mind towards your neighbor and avoid evil thoughts that will breed violence.
- Anger: The anger between people in family or couple often appears for many reasons, and unfortunately, has led to a leading cause of domestic violence across the country. Misunderstanding and constant quarrel among couples and lack of mutual respect for another all contribute to an increase the level of anger in the family and unfortunate domestic violence in Nigeria.
In summary, domestic violence has done lots of damage in our country which must be strongly addressed now by the relevant authorities. Many families have lost loved ones because of this ugly trend. So apart from the highlighted reasons and solutions above, the government should strengthened the existing laws to help curb or reduce incidence of domestic violence in Nigeria.
All hands must be on deck to bring about an end to this growing but disturbing trend in Nigeria. A stitch in time saves nine.