Marriage, also known as matrimony is defined as a socially, legally and religiously recognized union between two persons or spouses who share things in common in terms of religion, culture, rights and obligations and love
In a simple term, marriage is the coming together of two persons who believe in themselves and in which interpersonal relationships, usually sex, are recognised or sanctioned.
The man is the husband and the woman, the wife agreed to live together as one till death do them part. Anything short of this is no marriage.
It is an institution established by God which must be respected and kept by mankind. A long but considered the oldest institution which dates back to the time of Adam and Eve.
Facts About Marriage
· Marriage is the oldest and an acceptable institution created or made by God.
· Is an institution where you obtain marriage certificate and it has no graduation or end. Death is the only separatist.
· Marriage is patience
· Marriage is love sharing among couples who agreed to spend the rest of their lives together
· There is no marriage on earth that has no challenge.
· One of the fruits of marriage is procreation
· Marriage is happiness
· Any marriage without God cannot work.
· There is no perfection in marriage
However, most marriages in most recent time have become ‘a kind of log in and log out affairs’. In other words, marriage, especially in our generation has become a divorce prone affair without happiness which marriage stands for. The reasons for this are many ranging from impatience, lack of love, greed, worldly affairs and lack of fear of God.
For couples to have happiness in their marriage therefore, the following factors must be observed.
1. God is happiness in any marriage. Without God in any marriage, nothing can make it work. So, invite God who grants success and happiness in every area of life into your marriage and you will surely be happy. Learn to pray together always in any circumstances. Believe in God the Creator who is the Architect of a happy and a successful marriage.
2. One of the couples must play the role of a fool. For peace and happiness to rain in any marriage, either couple or spouse must be blind to a fault and in most cases overlook certain issues that could spark off misunderstanding between them.
3. Patience is required in marriage otherwise it would not work. Instances abound where the some women, far from the way she saw her husband before marriage threaten to pull out almost immediately after marriage rather than come together and reason together on how to move marriage forward. Some even make comparison of other husbands not knowing the reality of another man’s marriage.
4. Pride: For happiness to rain in marriage, pride is another thing that should not be encouraged. Learn to say sorry when either of you is wrong. In most cases, open up to your spouse and explain what actually angered you in any given issue. Avoid stressing on the same conversation day in, day out that will not promote happiness or move the family forward. Learn to say I have learnt my lesson rather stressing on the same conversation continuously.
5. Speak words of encouragement. Rather than diminishing your spouse by making silly statements that will do you no good, learn to encourage yourselves into your marriage. Perhaps mistakes could even mean an opportunity to refuel and refresh your love always and galvanized you into success.
6. Forgive if you have been hurt: Forgiveness in marriage should not be based on negotiation. Don’t allow yourself to be tormented about past issues when you have the power within you to forget and forgive. This will surely find the peace you need to rekindle your marriage and free yourself from unnecessary tension.
7. Don’t allow a third party to come in. Especially women from wealthy homes. You should not in any flimsy excuse report your husband to your parents or relations simply because of one thing or the other. You are indeed causing a crack in the marriage and one day it will collapse. You should not think or believe that your father’s house is your house. In any challenge, take the matter to God in prayer. He will do it for you. Like I said earlier, there is no marriage on this earth that has no challenge otherwise that would not be true marriage.
8. Review and Revisit your marriage: This is another way to promote happiness in marriage. Yes! It needs systemic and periodic review to make it work. Life is full of challenges and when you are able to challenge smaller obstacles early enough in your marriage, definitely you will be able to prevent them from exploding into unimaginable issues. When you give your marriage a total check up, you will both realize where you need to score yourselves high or improve as individuals and as a couple.
9. Don’t be selfish. Another thing that could help to promote happiness in marriage is to avoid being selfish. Learn to share among yourselves. It must not only come from one but both. A happy marriage is principled on the spirit of give and take. Share cheerfully.
10. Learn to appreciate: This is another key factor that promotes happiness in marriage. Appreciation calls for more. ‘Sweety, this is good’. ‘Honey! I like the soup’. I appreciate your efforts, will engineer both to do more for each other.
11. Never let your husband or wife down especially in the public. No matter the degree of anger in you, try to conceal it and tender it in a subtle manner at bed time or any other time suitable for that purpose. We should as well see good reason or reasons for any action taken at the time.
12. Sex: This is the engine room of a happy marriage. Never deny either of yourself sex except in sickness or otherwise. This is very important factor in marriage and if not carefully handled, will destroy a lot of things. This must be expressed in a polite and matured manner. When the woman is not getting the satisfaction of sex from the husband, both can device a way out rather than trading blames. If there is health challenge, either the man or both should go for medical check up for solution.
Finally, for one to have happiness in marriage; it needs a holistic approach, a combination of efforts from couples mind, bodies, emotions and spirits to make it a success in practicality. Happiness in marriage is the ultimate goal of any successful marriage. We should work towards it and have it.